Crying

Wednesday 7th June

I can’t stop crying today. Husband has had to go back to work for his own sanity and bank balance. I couldn’t hold a steady thought or make a proper decision so I’m signed off work until I feel normal again. So I’m on my own at home. 

A friend came round and cried with me for a bit which was comforting and funny. She brought cake and conversation for a few hours which is just what I needed. But the crying keeps coming. I think it’s the hormone changes. I’m not thinking any particular thoughts before or while I cry. It’s just an overwhelming sense of sadness and ‘it’s not fair’ sorry-for-myself sobbing. It feels good and bad in equal measure. 

I’ve also got lots of cramps today. The lumps on my bum from the injections which finished a week ago are sore to touch or sit on. My tummy, still bruised a week after the last blood thinner injection, is tender and swollen. The ache in my left hip crease is still there. If I don’t keep my paracetamol and ibuprofen topped up every 4 hours I ache all over and cry even more.

Hormones are bastards.